Hello to you

Hiiiii. I know no one reads this space except you. And i've somehow promised to post something right? Haha. So anyway here it goes. This few days have been hard for me and i can imagine how tough it had been for you this past few months. Well i've been through that before we broke up :( I'm sorry that things had to be this way. What's meant to be will always find it's way. You said you can't move on but i think you know that this kind of things take a lot of time. Like Pixie Lott said,

I might lose my mind for a while, but I'll be fine.
Have you heard there's this thing that heals, 
and it's called time. 

Clock can tick away, happy will fall in place.

and though, my heart will break, a new me will fill the space.

Haha guess from which song! This song was the one that motivated me to move on and forget about the things that you did to me. Actually, all of Pixie Lott's songs are inspirational (though most of it are too emotional) but i guess you'll just have to be strong and keep moving forward. I'm pretty sure you'll find someone who can make you happy someday. I am 101% sure! See, i've forgiven you and i even don't wanna lose you. Isnt this the more reason you should stop feeling remorseful and be really happy? Smile fadhil, smileeeeee! You have always been a good friend and a supportive one too. I don't want any of this sadness stopping you from doing what you wanna do! Stop listening to Adele! She is an amazing singer but her songs are too sad. Hahaha! Listen to Foo Fighters! Or Foster The People! Listen to hardcore if you want to haha! This song makes me forget the world sometimes, have you heard of Faith and Forgiveness by The Ghost Inside? Hahah. If you haven't, go listen! And yea, i've listened to Better Than Me. It's too sad, stop listening to it! 

You're a very nice person, despite it all you have a been a great boyfriend to me, and you will be more than just a great boyfriend to someone else perhaps? And i guess, that next person will be your wife. Treat her well, it's time you open up and share. "Communication is key in a relationship" Hahaha. I'm serious! Always, always pour out your thoughts! We may not be together anymore but, i'll always be there for you if you ever need a friend. Don't say goodbye. Goodbyes suck. See this as a new beginning. I know it's difficult... Try harder. I'll always pray for your happiness. Good luck in everything you do. I somehow know your plan for the future haha so i hope you achieve whatever you have dreamed of. I'll be waiting, to see your mini :)


With lots of love,

Ainnnnnn. 

Confused

It's like A levels period all over again. Neglected, yep that's what i'm feeling right now. But truth is, i totally understand that weekends are spent for his family and tryna recover from the 'torture' he had over the week in camp. And i'm not asking to meet or call. I just want you to text me before you go to bed. Is that too much to ask?

People tell me to be strong or just leave him, i don't know why the fuck i can't. I swear i feel like i'm the stupidest  loser on Earth to still stay and go through this nightmare. I always thought i would feel numb, but at the end of the day i feel so miserable. I still care for this person who makes me sad all the time. Why bother? I don't know.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I STILL LOVE THIS GUY.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M STILL HERE.

I don't know why my feelings for you arent fading eventhough you've made me go through so much pain.


The last time you called... 20 days ago..

Till we meet again

SCHOOL'S HERE BITCHEZXZZCZFSZXFSD!

And i'm not looking forward to it. My modules sound so dry this time. And i really hope my facis are friendly and easy to get along with. Or else, 15 weeks of doom. Doom i tell ya, Doom! And to a certain someone who is entering a new phase in NS, all the best and take care! Since school's here, i've kinda lost the mojo to blog already. Okay, i'm off to read Chocolate Run till i sleep. Goodnight.

Ps; Youre a totally changed person. Not for the best though. And it sucks to know the ugly truth. All this while, i'm just pretending that it will be okay eventhough it's not. Baby, youre a totally changed person.

You go down, down, down 
I fall out of love with you 
Come back round, round, round 
You sun of a gun 

Something

This is what's bothering me.

This is one of the reasons why i don't like to hang out with girls.Well not the sixteens, theyre different okay. Don't ask me how different. Anyway, all they can talk about are how good and loving their boyfriends are. Their boyfriends did this, did that. I'm not saying my boyfriend is that bad but seriously? Is that that the only thing you girls can talk about? I love you girls but please, can we talk about what we wanna do when we grow up or i dont know, SOMETHING ELSE! There's a reason why i don't want to go for this date thing and i really don't want to talk about it. So i really hope you would just stop it when i say No, i don't want to and i don't mind you girls going off without me. So please, don't force me. Now i don't have the mood to meet you girls already cause i know for sure the first thing you girls will ask me is about that date. I really wished you girls can read my mind. Wouldnt that be easier?

So anyway some have asked why i hang out with Syazni more than my boyfriend. Hah! Truth is, if my boyfriend has the time i would love to hang out with him. I don't know just sit down and have ice cream would be really nice. He's busy with god knows what and he's not even talking to me. I don't know what i did. Don't get me wrong, i'm not into syazni neither he's into me. Hahahah that's just wtf. We are just good friends. We meet when we have the time. I mean, apart from my boyfriend he's the second person whom i'm comfortable with. He's like a brother from another sexy mother. That's the thing, we don't talk about boyfriends or girlfriends whenever we meet. Okay so sometimes we talk about pretty girls hehe. It's nice to talk to somebody about what we wanna do in a few years time, that kinda thing yknow. I really wished people would just stop asking me things like this. Sigh
Goodbye.

Ps; I CANT WAIT FOR MY CLOTHES TO ARRIVE HEHEHEHE YAYAYAYAYAY!

Nice to meet you

The only picture i took (without him noticing)
We finally meet but for some reason, i kinda felt guilty. It's like i'm troubling him or something :/ Oh well, it's nice to finally see you. Botak, like cool yo haha. And i wish you all the best for the interview at SMU tomorrow! I hope you nail it! And eventhough the next time we meet will be like what, two more months, six more or maybe next year, i'll always pray for your well-being. Have fun with your family and friends before you leave for idk where you'll be posted to. Take care! 


Jauh di otak, dekat di hati
(If it doesnt mean anything to you then oh wellz ♥)

Sorry, but i'm no hardcore

A day out with the usuals. The second picture is hilarious. Little Amin couldnt reach so he had to put his leg on the table. If possible, he wants to sit/lie on it. Imagine this dude in NS. Nah, i can't. Haha. All those thoughts and sad feelings aside, i had fun. Thank you

Now i feel.....

Conflicted

Wow. I wanted to let out what i feel in this blog but just as i was about to create a new post, my mind just stopped thinking. I know, it's impossible right that your mind just stopped thinking. Or can it? Well the whole purpose to blog tonight was to let out some stuff (a way to cheer myself up) that has been bothering me all day long but i can't seem to type what i've been thinking. Tsk.

One thing's for sure, i miss this particular person. So much. We've not talked for days now and i should understand why but, i'm just afraid that this is going to go on. And if this continues, sigh...
I just miss him :'( But..

Anw btw, look what i've found from http://twitter.com/#!/WonderQuotes
"Prince Charming? Nah.. I got myself a Soldier!" 
Haha cool! Cause yknow, he's in Army, a soldier. You get what i mean right


Gosh, where are you! I don't see you making any effort at all!

Trying to catch up but time was too fast

Was watching Chick Vs. Dick Ep69 The Stiletto-Mascara Challenge and got reminded of this particular dude who has very long eyelashes (which will sometimes drop whenever he touches it) Hah!

He's gonna POP this weekend. Time flies, so fast. Before you know it, i'll be graduating. Fuck yeah baby. Then Syazni and the rest of the guys will be serving NS. I... can't wait for Syazni to serve NS actually. I can't wait to see that look on his face when the time to serve NS comes and his Oh very precious hair is gone. But don't worry Syaz, you might look like Wentworth Miller...

NOT!

I'm not excited about graduating. Not now maybe